Emotions
by Gitters-Gold
Summary: K/S. Spock can't hide his feelings for his Captain any longer. Spock OOC


Spock slammed the PADD down on the table and flopped down on his bed, not caring about the emotion the action certainly implied. There was no use in denying it; he was angry. He could feel white hot rage traveling down his spine.

3 hours and 37 minutes before, on the planet that the Enterprise was currently orbiting, Spock, Kirk, and Bones had beamed down to meet with the King and Queen to carry out negotiations for joining the Federation. King Xaron and Queen Lixxa were both seemingly polite, and very attractive. Spock barely noticed the latter though, for he only had eyes for other person in the quadrant: Jim Kirk, his captain. The captain, who had no idea of his feelings, did not even attempt to hide his attraction to Queen Lixxa.

Technically, the negotiations went well. Apathax, as the planet was called, was to join the United Federation of Planets.

It was the worst day of Spock's life.

Sure, he was used to his captain's apt title of "ladies man". He was used to the jolt of pain that went through his body every time he watched Jim leave with some beautiful alien or another. He'd thought he could handle it.

Then that horrid Queen had to come along and shove her tongue down Jim's throat, right in front of not only Spock and Bones, but her husband! While King Xaron simply laughed and Bones raised his eyebrows, Spock felt something inside him break. He growled, too low for human ears, and broke the kiss by moving forward in one fluid motion, picking her up, and throwing her against the wall. The King stopped laughing.

After that was a blur. He could not bring himself to look at Jim as Bones hunched over the body of the Queen with a tricorder, taking a medical scan.

"She'll live, but I need to get her to sick bay right away," He said.

Spock felt Jim's eyes on him as Bones picked the woman up and signaled the Enterprise to beam two up immediately- medical emergency.

"Mr. Spock." The King's voice boomed, filling the whole room. He grudgingly turned towards him. "You are very lucky that she will live," He stepped forward threateningly, "Now get out of my house." Spock gratefully obeyed, leaving through the door rather than beaming up right away. As soon as he got out, he ran. He needed as much distance between himself and that place as possible.

He heard Jim yell his name behind him, but he ignored him and kept running, knowing he couldn't handle being chastised by Jim for throwing a Foreign Queen at a wall. He chuckled bitterly at how ridiculous the whole situation really was. After about an hour, he beamed back up to the Enterprise.

"Sir! The Captain has been calling down here every ten minutes to see if you had returned! He will be pleased to know you are back! I will tell him right away," a smiling Scotty said after he had materialized on the transporter pad.

"Thank you, Mr. Scott but I would appreciate it if you did not. I will tell the Captain myself when I am ready. Good day." With that, he left the transporter room and made his way to his quarters. He passed no one in the corridor on the way, much to his delight.

Now here he was. He felt moisture rolling down his cheek- he was crying. _Vulcans do not cry. I should meditate to try to regain my composure. _He quickly tried to calm himself, taking deep breaths.

Suddenly, his door chimed. Spock immediately stood up and opened his mouth to tell them to go away, when he heard Jim's voice.

"Spock, please let me in. We… need to talk."

"I am sorry Captain, I am indisposed at the moment," he lied, trying to control the emotions running through him at his Captain's sudden arrival.

"That's a lie Spock, and you know it. Now, open the door or I will use the emergency override."

Spock sighed, knowing the Captain actually would, and opened the door.

Jim stood on the other side, mouth open slightly like he had been about to say something, leaning against the bulkhead. His mouth curved into a smile at seeing his first officer.

"May I come in?" He asked, almost coyly. He did not wait for a reply and walked past Spock into his quarters. "Alright, Spock. What's going on? You're not one to throw people at walls."

"I apologize Capt—wait, I will not lie. I am not at all sorry for doing that. She was demonstrating most disgusting and improper behavior."

"Disgusting and improper? Spock, she just kissed me!"

"And what gives her that right? She is a married woman, and she did not consider that you might have a significant other!"

"But I don't! And you saw his reaction; their customs are obviously different than our own."

"I am aware of the absence of a mate in your life, I was merely stating that she did not know, yet she kissed you anyway. What if you did have a mate? Does she not realize that what she was doing would hurt him?"

The room was silent as Spock turned green at his slip.

"Hurt _him_? Spock…" Jim stepped forward, decreasing the amount of space between them, "is there something you want to tell me?"

Spock blushed greener at the close proximity and subconsciously backed up, until his back hit the wall. Jim kept moving forward until they were practically touching.

"Captain—" He was suddenly cut off as Jim crushed his lips to his first officer's. He gasped as Jim's hands ran through his jet black hair, and responded eagerly.

"Wait, Captain—"

"Jim!" Jim growled, moving his lips to the Vulcan's neck.

"Jim…" He pushed the captain away. "Before we continue, I must tell you something. Almost since the moment I met you, I have had very strong feelings for you. Whenever you put your life in danger, I cannot bear it. Seeing you with other women almost kills me, which is why I threw that woman today. I would rather die than be apart from you. I love you, James Tiberius Kirk, and I always will." Spock stared straight into the hazel eyes of his captain, his Jim, and waited for a reply.

"Spock, I've seen the way you look at me. I have observed for some time, but I thought I was imagining things that I wished to be true. The way I feel about you is unlike how I felt about Ruth, Dr. Noel, Edith Keeler, or any of the others. They all seem very insignificant compared to you." He shifted on his feet. "What I'm trying to say is, I love you too, and I never want you away from my side." At this, Spock smiled, actually smiled, and leaned in to capture the lips of his T'hy'la once again.


End file.
